SGT.PEPE’S 

LONELY HEARTS CLUB BUND

—the C-of-C-C Newsletter romance and relationship advice column.

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Dear Sarge,

“Why is it that I meet so few women who are into metaphysics? None of them seem to have the slightest interest in where we come from and what we are doing here. How can they be so oblivious to these questions that make our existence an interesting experience?”

—Ken from Seattle

Dear Ken,

“Wake up, pal. It’s right in front of your eyes. Woman aren’t interested in these questions because they ARE THE MYSTERY and they’re just not into going any deeper. They embody it. That’s enough to ponder for a lifetime all by yourself. 

Like Iris DeMent, in this appropriately titled album, Infamous Angel, women are too busy being the Mystery to worry about what it is. And why should they?  Besides they have so much to do once they have children do we really want them staring off into the distance  or reading books all the time. Come on. You will have enough to do earning a living. Do you want to be doing dishes and changing diapers, too? 

I could tell you were from the North West. Closer to the Mediterranean where I come from we’ve known this for eons. Woman are the epitome of the union of the sacred and profane. They are all, at the same time, an example of the best and the worst that life offers us. (My mother is the exception being an example of the saintly, alone. Didn’t I say I come from the Mediterranean?)

Take heart, Ken. As we speak there are young women being raised who will make excellent wives some day. Be patient. Just get out of the city and find them. Watch out for the snakes, though, and approach with the best of intentions. Every father and brother out there knows how to handle a shotgun.”

Best of Luck,

Sergeant Pepe

 (From his garden tending to his little carrots and sweet peas)