INTRODUCTION TO THE COUNCIL-OF-CONCERNED-CONSERVATIONISTS NEWSLETTER

—An Assembly of Unlikely Scribes, Necessary Gadflies, and Prematurely Retired Prophets

What follows is neither a manifesto nor a marketing brief. It is a roll call of those who, in their own eccentric and often contradictory ways, have taken up the burden of bearing witness. We are not activists. We are archivists of the obvious, whisperers to the wind, note-takers at the last supper of common sense.

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The Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists (C-of-C-C) is not a political body, though many of its members have been mistaken for political relics. Nor is it a conservation society in the usual sense. We do not preserve wetlands (though we frequent them), nor do we tag birds (though many of us are fond of hawks). What we conserve is metaphysical erosion. What we patrol is cultural sediment. What we plant is the seed of epiphany—on roadsides, in abandoned diners, behind the eyes of the half-awake.

We are, if nothing else, interferers with entropy.

Our Writers and Correspondents are as varied as the rust on an antique farm tool:

John St. Evola, The Editor: part mystic, part bureaucrat, a man with a Rolodex of half-finished revelations and a fountain pen full of ancestral ink.

Black Cloud, Chief Poetic Justice Warrior: our resident weatherman of mood, casting lyrical forecasts from the edge of storm and satire.

Libby D’Innous, Columnist, Planet Parenthood: chronicler of domestic cosmologies, marital physics, and unlicensed lactation theology.

Sgt. Pepe LePeuw, Romance & Relationships: writes with a wounded heart and an ex-gendarme’s precision, specializing in post-coital ethics and love’s lost jurisdictions.

Dr. Faye C. Schüß, Fellow at The Institute for Theoretical Studies (TITS): a diagnostician of psycho-cultural malaise, she straddles the line between poetic metaphor and suspect medical advice.

The Accidental Initiate: our flaneur-philosopher, forever stumbling into sacred truths disguised as punchlines.

Paige Turner, Sub-Sub Librarian: keeper of footnotes and spiritual trivia, often found at the open mic night reciting ISBNs with pathos.

Peter R. Mossback, Athwart Historian: he stands, as the proverb goes, in the stream of time—gathering moss.

Reynard ‘Rey’ Pierre-DeWitt, Chaos Coordinator: trickster, liaison officer, and bureaucrat of the bizarre. His memos often begin with threats and end in riddles.

Cliff Langour & Arturo Haus, Cultural Critics: one speaks, one doesn’t. Neither seems pleased.

Anna Graham, Language Arts Correspondent: specializes in anagrams, crosswords, and nominative determinism; her work must be read twice and aloud.

Dr. Issa Weiss-Aleck, Colleague of Dr. Schüß: less a man than a marginalia in human form.

Daphne Howlsmythe, Correspondent for Fashion, Food, and Pet Care: author of The All Condiment Diet, she writes about the decline of civilization through the lens of vintage scarves and supermarket horseradish.

Miss Noor Singha Grudj, Newsletter Gadfly: our in-house saboteur of consensus and frequent contributor to the “Letters We Meant to Burn” segment.

Vito Haeckler, Man-on-the-Street: always in the wrong place with the right instincts.

Right Reverend James Groady, Evangelist of Bluegrass: he preaches the gospel of syncopated string instruments and Appalachian redemption.

Eugene Bodeswell, Ethnographer: sent out to study strange tribes and customs, but keeps returning with essays about his uncle’s barbershop.

Mrs. Begonia Contretemp, European Correspondent and NVZ Spokesperson: still writes letters on stationery that smells faintly of pre-War perfume and ideological regret.

Noah Paologese, Official Meme Curator: speaks only in images, but somehow communicates more than the rest of us.

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To read this newsletter is to eavesdrop on a bunker of the half-sane.

To write for it is to file dispatches from the fault lines of meaning.

To appear in its pages is to admit you’ve seen too much and still chosen to care.

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Welcome to the Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists.

We’re not in charge. We’re just paying attention.