The Odyssey of Beavis and Butt-Head

Episode 1: “Woke Up Different”

(A Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists Initiation)

**************

[Cold Open]

(Exterior – rundown strip mall parking lot. Beavis and Butt-Head sit on the curb, bored, flicking bottle caps at a crushed soda can.)

BUTT-HEAD:

(flick)

“Huh huh. Life sucks.”

BEAVIS:

(flick, misses badly)

“Yeah. Life sucks AND blows, heh heh.”

(They sit there in sullen silence. A crumpled piece of newspaper blows by — it’s the Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists Newsletter, snagging on Beavis’s foot.)

BUTT-HEAD:

(picking it up, squinting)

“Huh huh. What’s this crap?”

BEAVIS:

(snatching it)

“It’s like… a newspaper for dudes who like… trees and stuff? Heh heh.”

(He flips it open. The headline reads:

“On the Moral Architecture of Conservation: Building Character Along with Bridges.”)

BUTT-HEAD:

(mocking tone)

“Uhh… building… like… morality bridges… huh huh huh.”

(They pause, and then Beavis reads aloud — surprisingly clearly.)

BEAVIS:

(reading)

“‘Character is not just inherited — it is built, brick by brick, through hard work, patience, and devotion to truth.’”

(pause)

“Heh heh. ‘Brick by brick.’ Like a wall of dudes.”

BUTT-HEAD:

(slightly affected)

“…That’s like… kinda deep, Beavis.”

(Both blink for a second, as if a tiny spark of awareness has flickered inside their otherwise empty skulls.)

[Opening Credits]

(Montage of Beavis and Butt-Head clumsily trying to build things: planting trees upside down, hammering nails into thin air, trying to sweep a dirt road. The music is a lo-fi version of their old theme, slowed down, like it’s trying to grow up.)

[Act I: The Heritage Fort]

(Interior – a local “Heritage Fort” re-creation site. A sad little tourist trap. Beavis and Butt-Head are here because a blurb in the C-of-C-C Newsletter suggested visiting historical sites to “feel the bones of the nation.”)

BUTT-HEAD:

(whispering)

“Feel the bones… heh heh. BONES.”

BEAVIS:

(trying to look serious)

“Shut up, Butt-Head. We’re, like, building character.”

(They wander around the dusty old cannons and flags. A volunteer tour guide — a crusty, patient old man in a faded Union uniform — notices them awkwardly reading a plaque.)

GUIDE:

“You boys interested in history?”

BUTT-HEAD:

(shrugs)

“Uh… we’re like… trying to not suck as bad.”

GUIDE:

(grins)

“Good start.”

(The guide shows them around, mixing colorful facts with strong values: resilience, sacrifice, the importance of rootedness. Quotes snippets from the Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists Newsletter about honoring “the built world” and “the unseen labor of those who came before.”)

BEAVIS:

(awed)

“Whoa. Like… dudes DIED so we could, like, sit around doing nothing.”

BUTT-HEAD:

(serious, for once)

“That’s, like… lame of us, Beavis.”

[Act II: The Pledge]

(Exterior – night — Beavis and Butt-Head sit on the same curb, staring at the stars. They have a battered copy of the C-of-C-C Newsletter in front of them, trying to read by the streetlight.)

BEAVIS:

(reading again)

“‘It is better to conserve what is good than to destroy blindly what you do not understand.’”

BUTT-HEAD:

(thoughtful)

“Maybe we should, like… do something good. Like… fix crap.”

BEAVIS:

(nodding, fired up)

“YEAH! Like… pick up trash and stuff! SAVE the planet! Be righteous dudes! Heh heh!”

(They high-five — and then instantly punch each other in the shoulder because they don’t know how else to express emotion.)

[Their First Attempt]

(Montage: Beavis and Butt-Head try to “do good”:)

Picking up trash — then accidentally lighting it on fire. Helping an old lady cross the street — but getting tangled in her dog’s leash. Painting over graffiti — but spelling words wrong like “CONSERVASHUN.”

(End with the two of them sitting on the curb, tired and dirty, but smiling slightly — genuinely proud.)

BEAVIS:

“Heh heh. We, like, suck less now.”

BUTT-HEAD:

(smirking)

“Yeah. Still suck… just not as bad. Huh huh.”

(They look up again at the stars, a little more hopeful. The Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists Newsletter flutters beside them in the breeze — now carefully folded and tucked under Beavis’s arm like a badge of honor.)

[Closing Credits]

(The lo-fi theme continues — showing little snapshots of their clumsy efforts to improve: planting trees, reading dusty old books, awkwardly attending a historical society lecture — still them, but becoming more.)