Mrs. Begonia Contretemp Explicates Democracy
A dispatch from the Gist and Tangent Pub, where the guillotines are strictly conceptual and the blood politely theoretical.
The G&T Pub is where Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists retire for both the bull session and occasional tête-à-tête.
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[Scene: The Gist and Tangent Pub. Mrs. Begonia Contretemp stands beside the booth, a half-empty wine glass in hand. A folded article rests on the table. Paige Turner scribbles notes. John St. Evola sits across from her, arms crossed thoughtfully. Peter R. Mossback leans back in his chair, gazing toward a faded map on the wall. Rey Pierre-DeWitt balances a cocktail umbrella behind his ear.]
Begonia (with a sweeping gesture):
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Monsieur et Madame, meine Herren und Frauen, Dudes and Dudettes—as our American friends might say—let me assure you: we are not out of les bois, der Wald, or the bush yet, even with this so-called rediscovery of communal structures in Georgia.”
[She taps the article.]
“To wit…”
[Paige glances up; John nods gravely.]
Begonia (leaning closer):
“The tribes of the so-called ‘Democratic’ Iroquois Confederacy—such noble branding—were brutal. They practiced communal torture against outsiders. They preyed on the Lenape and their neighbors.
Barabbas was spared by popular vote, while Jesus—Jesus!—was elected to be crucified by the same assembly of the people.
Many perished under a rain of bombs in the last century, in the name of spreading democracy, and still do to this day.
And the man who quipped, ‘Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others’? He rounded up Boer women and children into the first use of concentration camps.”
[A low whistle from Rey Pierre-DeWitt, twirling the cocktail umbrella.]
Rey (with a grin):
“Ah, democracy: crowdsourcing the crucifixion.”
Begonia (arching an eyebrow, voice tightening):
“In this era—the reign of quantity!—did no one think? If absolute power corrupts in the hands of one, or a few… surely tyranny is multiplied when practiced by the many.
Simple math.”
John St. Evola (softly):
“Simple… and fatal.”
Begonia (quoting deliberately):
“‘The concept of humanity is an especially useful ideological instrument of imperialist expansion… Whoever invokes humanity wants to cheat.’
Thus spoke a certain German jurist and theorist.
To confiscate the word ‘humanity,’ to invoke and monopolize such a term—it allows you to declare the enemy an outlaw to humanity itself. And thus a war may be driven to its most extreme inhumanity.”
[She lifts her glass, smiling faintly.]
“The humanity he spoke of? Nothing more than the plurality of the vote in action.”
[A pause. Paige closes her notebook gently.]
Peter R. Mossback (leaning back, speaking slow and dry):
“Well… they tried democracy in my town once. We’ve still got the potholes to prove it.
It’s like a potluck dinner—everybody brings what they like, and nobody leaves happy.
And a funny thing about democracy, though… it always felt like being outvoted in your own house.”
John (raising his glass):
“We are, as ever, not out of the woods… but deeper into the bush.”
[Fade out with glasses clinking, the faint scratch of pen on paper, and Rey balancing the umbrella on his nose.]
COUNCIL-OF CONCERNED-CONSERVATIONISTS…..Between Jest And Earnest….. 
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