A NIGHT OF GRATITUDE TO THE SYSTEM’S MOST RELIABLE CONTRIBUTORS

Coming to you tonight from the Paradigm Theatre
in Weedville, Pennsylvania
Serving the greater Hollywood, Force and Weedville area.

—A Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists Award Ceremony—

Hosted By Ray Pierre-DeWitt, Chaos Coordinator


Good evening! Thank you all for participating.

Let me just say this plainly, because I can feel some of you shifting in your seats already.

Yes—there are problems in the system. Yes—people want them solved. And yes—that desire has been heard. It’s also been. . . accounted for.

Now here’s the part that tends to get skipped over:

This evening concerns a simple arrangement—rarely stated, but widely practiced:

Some people generate revenue. Others keep the people who generate revenue in motion. That’s not a glitch.That’s the structure.

And so, without further ado—by the way, the facilities are out back—some of you already know where they are, and may have just come from there—so let’s begin.


REVENUE-POSITIVE BEHAVIORS

1. Smokers — The Excise Tax Backbone

They don’t get enough credit. Every pack is a quiet contribution to the public purse. Predictable. Reliable. Almost admirable in its consistency.

2. Drinkers — Liquidity Stabilizers:

They keep money moving—bars, restaurants, distributors, taxes. It all flows. You smooth the edges of life, and the system smooths its balance sheet.

We recognize the town of Foster Brook, Pennsylvania—nominally unrelated to Foster Brooks, a teetotaler who made a career portraying a drunk. The town is where about one in five residents reports binge drinking. Slightly above average, and compensating beautifully.

3. Lottery Participants — Voluntary Taxation Pioneers

Honestly, one of the most efficient setups we’ve got. People line up to fund things in exchange for a shot at something better. Hope, it turns out, is taxable.

4. Cannabis Consumers — The Regulated Tranquility Sector

They generate revenue and take the temperature down a notch. Fewer sharp edges, fewer immediate pressures. That has value—on both sides of the ledger.

Those already operating at sufficient levels of calm, paranoia, and lethargy may be redirected to other areas of contribution.

SERVICE-DEPENDENT POPULATIONS

1. The Unhoused — Urban Employment Ecosystem Drivers

You don’t just have individuals here—you have entire networks built around responding to them. Caseworkers, administrators, planners, consultants. Salaries. Offices. Budgets. All of it tied in. We owe the homeless.

2. Addiction Cohorts — Intervention Continuity Specialists and their enablers among the users.

There’s the revenue from taxed substances, yes—but also the treatment side. Clinics, programs, research, staffing. And those people? They pay taxes too. It circulates.

3. INSTITUTIONAL ANCHORS

Defense Contractors — Geopolitical Activity Sustainers

Public money goes in. Jobs, manufacturing, research come out. Then that money comes back through income taxes, spending, local economies. It’s a loop with a long reach.

4. Chronic Offenders — Judicial Throughput Contributors

Courts, law enforcement, corrections—these systems don’t run on theory. They run on volume. And volume keeps people employed, funded, and operational.

The Chronically Ill — Healthcare Utilization Base

It’s one of the largest sectors we have. Ongoing care means ongoing work—doctors, nurses, administrators, suppliers. And again, the revenue cycles back.

Now step back for a second. Nobody sat down and assigned these roles. But they settled into place anyway. Revenue comes in. That revenue supports systems. Those systems, in turn, support the conditions that keep the revenue coming. That’s not chaos.

That’s a loop.

Honorable Mention:
All Council members, in accordance with standing custom, consume potato-flavored potato chips, thereby sustaining the great State of Idaho and its indispensable role within the ecosystem.

FOR THOSE WHO FIND THIS UNSETTLING

I get it.

This is usually where people say, “Well, that’s not how it should be.”

And that’s fine. That reaction has a place too. Because what happens next?

People organize. They advocate. They research. They regulate. They write, speak, consult, campaign.

And all of that activity—every bit of it—is funded.

Grants. Salaries. Donations. Subscriptions. Institutional backing.

So now the critique is part of the system. The pushback creates more motion. More motion creates more funding.

And the loop—holds.

You don’t step outside it by noticing it. You just move to a different position inside it.

SO WHAT’S THE MOVE?

This is where people expect me to say “fix it.”

But if you fix something too quickly, you don’t just remove the problem—you remove everything that formed around it.

Jobs. Revenue streams. Entire layers of activity. That kind of efficiency has consequences. So no—we don’t rush. We adjust. We manage. We keep things. . . within range.

Nothing here is random. Nothing here is drifting. Every piece—whether it’s generating revenue, sustaining it, or reacting to it—has been accounted for.

What looks like chaos from the outside—is just the system. . . working.

And yes—it’s under control.

—Ray Pierre-DeWitt

Chaos Coordinator, Council-of-Concerned-Conservationists

More From Ray

Leave a comment