ALTDEF: Iceman

n. [“Eisene Mann,” possibly misheard through steam heat and destiny]

A Southern Italian-American precursor to both HVAC and heroism, tasked with delivering frozen integrity door-to-door in 100-pound increments. Backbone of the pre-Freudian domestic order. One who climbs tenement stairs with an iron hook in one hand and fate in the other. Known to improve both room temperature and the national genome in a single visit. An uncredentialed systems engineer of the old world, replacing coolant with character. Often mistaken for a delivery man; rarely mistaken twice.

“Before we had launch codes, we had cold blocks. And the men who moved them.”

—John St. Evola, On Thermodynamic Masculinity